What to talk about with a psychotherapist when everything is good in life?
There is a misconception that only sick and unhappy people come to a psychotherapist, for whom everything is bad in life, but this is far from the case.
Not having something to talk about is not a sign that there is something wrong with the therapy. When a person is in a calm state and stress is already behind, then you can work out points of growth, understanding true needs and look for ways to satisfy them. It is an integral part of the therapy structure.
Therapy sessions are usually scheduled weekly and not ‘as needed’. It is not about ‘putting out fires’ as they occur. It is about learning how to better cope with ‘difficulties’ by developing a deeper understanding of yourself, your life and your experiences.
Psychotherapy provides a lot of satisfaction, making life truly fulfilling
Most people come to therapy because of a crisis or the realization that there is an unstable pattern in their life. In the beginning, there is usually something to talk about – a problem, a story that gives context to what you are dealing with.
But if you have nothing to talk about, you may not be thinking about much or not much has happened. Here are a few things that can get in the way of a normal, light course of therapy:
- You are mentally in a different place. There are times when we finish the working day, meet with friends in a relaxed atmosphere, but mentally we are still at work. The same happens during the session. You need to learn to abstract yourself from everyday problems.
- You protect yourself. Sometimes, when you’ve shared a lot, it can be difficult to put up with this vulnerability. You may be embarrassed or ashamed. Try telling the therapist that it is difficult to talk to them because you feel strange about having told so much in the previous session. A good therapist will validate these feelings and support you in expressing them.
- You are upset with your therapist. Check yourself. How do you feel about your therapist? In your last session, were you told something that made you feel judged or misunderstood? Therapy is a relationship, and all relationships can lead to disagreements or unpleasant moments. If you find yourself feeling negative, talk about what is upsetting you. If your therapist is not good at this, you may decide to seek support elsewhere, but if they show curiosity, apologize, and admit they did wrong, working together on the conflict can be really rewarding.
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